She was sexually abused by a family member for four years, beginning when she was just seven years old.

“I knew it wasn’t right. You get the gut feeling that this shouldn’t be happening, but I was confused at the same time. It was just weird to me, and I remember being scared; I wasn’t able to sleep,” she said.

Brooklyn, now a student at Foothill, did not report the abuse, and eventually it ended after frequent contact with the abuser stopped. She told her close friends about it some time after, but decided not to tell her parents or other family members until two years ago when she told her sister, who then called a social worker.

Editor’s Note: Students interviewed for this story did not ask for but were given pseudonyms by the Dragon Press to protect their privacy. 

“The social worker came and asked me questions. She asked me who it was, what happened, and at the time, I didn’t think she was going to tell my mom,” she said. “I didn’t want her to, but I guess they do have to tell, so she ended up telling my mom.”

Silent victims like Brooklyn are surprisingly common. Studies have shown that 20 percent of adult females and 5 to 10 percent of adult males recall being sexually abused as a child, but this is not an entirely accurate representation as most victims do not report the abusers. However even with unreported incidents, child sexual abuse is still considerably more common than adult sexual abuse.

Why do child victims choose to let the abusers continue and walk away free? Although most children are taught to speak out about these incidents, there are many reasons why some remain reticent on the subject. 

Threats from the perpetrator, embarrassment, and the fear that justice will not be carried out are some reasons that hold the victims back from telling. National rape statistics reveal that only 46 out of every 100 rapes are reported, furthermore, only three out of 100 abusers will spend a day in prison. With the odds of justice against them, some victims worry that they will cause embarrassment to themselves and the abuser will not be punished.

Another reason is family loyalty, which was why Brooklyn decided not to tell her mother until the social worker told her without Brooklyn’s consent.

“I know it caused a lot of family problems [because] when my mom found out, she called both my aunts and they stopped talking,” Brooklyn said. “And that was one of the reasons I didn’t want my family to find out because I don’t want to ruin family talks and stuff.”

She felt this way despite the prolonged pain that her abuser had caused her.

“I still have nightmares and have these flashbacks and I’ll call my boyfriend on the phone sobbing and stuff. It’s really hard for me to sleep now, small noises wake me up because my body is so alert now,” she said.

Yet when the social worker asked if she wanted to press charges, she refused, already uncomfortable that the incident had stopped her family from talking.

“I said no [to pressing charges] because I didn’t want to screw up his life and whatever is going for him. I don’t know, I’m just… I feel bad even though he [ruined] my life, but when it comes to my family, I don’t like to talk about it,” she said.

A close friend admitts she was angered when she heard that Brooklyn had chose not to press charges.

“I think she should’ve. I mean, I would’ve,” Sarah said. “He ruined her life. But she worried that she’d split her family. I can understand that, but still.”

After Brooklyn’s mother heard of the incident, she immediately sent her to a therapist, but Brooklyn was used to confiding only to close friends and could only view the therapist as a stranger.

“I didn’t feel comfortable talking with her,” she said, “I mean, there are certain people I feel comfortable talking [with] about it, but she just wasn’t one of them. We touched on [the subject], but mostly it was like, ‘I’m gonna color. You can do whatever you want to do.’ ”

Brooklyn was unable to express her pain to the therapist and to most people, she said.  As a result she suffered depression and began cutting herself to cope with her unhappiness.

Although she had mixed feelings on pressing charges for herself,  Brooklyn said she believes now that if a child is sexually abused, they should confide in someone immediately, whether it is an adult or a close friend.

“I would tell them that they should talk about it with someone they’re comfortable with, because if they don’t talk about it they’ll spiral downwards like I did,” she said. “ Just try to find a way to be able to deal with it in not a self-harming way like I did.”

Brooklyn’s boyfriend said he was glad that she was not letting her history of sexual abuse keep her down now, and that he supported her 100 percent.

“She’s strong, she’s very strong,” he said, “I’ve seen plenty of people who go through this and commit suicide, but she has a very strong mind to keep going through. And I know it’s still a struggle, but I’m here for her.”

Brooklyn said that she had a major turning point this year when she was able to look past what had happened. She was even able to read her story aloud in a poem for an English class.

“I would do all kinds of things, but after I realized I couldn’t let this hold me down, I stopped cutting. I’ve been clean [from cutting] for a year,” she said. “And now it’s easier to just let it go, I mean it’s changed me, but you can’t let it hold you down forever.”