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Satire: Our political struggles have been eclipsed, but not by the president

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Satire: Our political struggles have been eclipsed, but not by the president

Credit: Maya Avelar / The Foothill Dragon Press

Credit: Maya Avelar / The Foothill Dragon Press

Credit: Maya Avelar / The Foothill Dragon Press

Credit: Maya Avelar / The Foothill Dragon Press

William Flannery

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After weeks of national discontent and chaos, Americans have been finally united under a universal admiration and hope for……….wait, I’m just getting word that this ubiquitous gathering of Americans has nothing to do with our political climate; it has to do with an eclipse. Oh.

Yes, people across the United States are raving over finally being able to defy their parents’ warnings and have the power to finally stare at the sun, but this event shouldn’t be underestimated. It really is just that: a national event. News channels, science channels, entertainment shows, twitters, instagrams, snapchats— all gawking over this this celestial show of one thing being put in front of another.

The sun cowering behind the moon for a few hours has truly brought our country together, and it’s interesting that our nation’s own leader can’t do the same while he cowers behind the Oval Office desk.

It seems that President Donald Trump has been unable to achieve what something as old as the sun could do and bring America together. If enough people are flooding into Oregon for the eclipse that the state’s Office of Emergency Management actually had to issue a warning; that between 1.85 million and 7.4 million Americans are going to drop their lives and trek to mid-United States just to crane their necks at the sky, then surely the President of the United States could rally us over the smaller, yet more paramount three deaths and 38 injuries caused by the Charlottesville riots.

But Mr. President doesn’t seem to have any control. He’s sinking the Right who are desperately trying to mend the situation and pushing the Left further off the West Coast, creating a stronger divide where a strong unified nation should exist.

When it comes to hate organizations promoting the superiority of any race, black or white, the President shouldn’t be cherry picking “sides” based on who voted for him. He should bring us all together against the singular notion of hate, not shades of it. But, apparently we can’t look up to our president for harmony, but to something that would literally blind us.

That’s how desperate we’ve become for national peace and cooperation. We may not have realized it, but this eclipse is an implicit excuse for Conservatives and Liberals being alienated by their President to allow one moment of respite for the United States, a momentary retirement from our political struggle.

I still can’t believe my eyes. It wasn’t the leader of our nation that was strong enough to unify us, it was the gosh darn sun! Y’know what? The sun should lead this country with the moon as its vice president. Running in 2020: the National Eclipse of 2017! At least then the GOP won’t be sweating down their trousers on every new Trump quote and the Liberals won’t have to wring their whining tool of Hollywood for the billionth time, so I’d vote for it.

I’d imagine the sun wouldn’t tolerate racial superiority and hatred like our own bright orange face in the White House, and would condemn both BLM and Alt-Right radical groups absolutely. Maybe the Right and Left will learn to get along and we all get free pleasures and candy.

But the thing is, that isn’t very ridiculous (not the sun being president), because within absurdity lies the details of truth. Trump should be more than able to keep our nation glued together through thick and thin, not allow his 50 piece jigsaw puzzle to spill everywhere. Being president isn’t about retaining your power and image, but giving and protecting power and image to the people. 

Alas, we have to rely on something so ancestral and rare as a complete solar eclipse to mollify the igneous rage of the masses. It’s actually ironic how in our darkest time, we gaze at a primordial spectacle of ambiguous majesty and terror, the same our tribal ancestors looked to eons before for guidance. No matter our progress as a civilization, the instinct from a fresh prehistoric world will always live inside us and still give us direction.

Let us hope the sun shines on the United States in escaping this veil of darkness.

 

What do you think?
1 Comment

One Response to “Satire: Our political struggles have been eclipsed, but not by the president”

  1. Steven Donald Sisemore on August 23rd, 2017 6:38 pm

    “I’d imagine the sun wouldn’t tolerate racial superiority and hatred like our own bright orange face in the White House, and would condemn both BLM and Alt-Right radical groups absolutely. Maybe the Right and Left will learn to get along and we all get free pleasures and candy.”. Our bright orange president did condemn both hate groups… that’s what both sides means!

     

Comments on articles are screened and those determined by editors to be crude, overly mean-spirited or that serve primarily as personal attacks will not be approved. The Editorial Review Board, made up of 11 student editors and a faculty adviser, make decisions on content.

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Satire: Our political struggles have been eclipsed, but not by the president