Bryn Gallagher: How not to prepare for the end of the world

Bryn Gallagher

Will the world end or won’t it? Only time will tell, but in the meantime here are 25 15 things to not do on what are possibly your last two days on Earth.

1. Sit in your garage because it is “prepared for the apocalypse”: Look, it is possibly the last time you have to see your friends, go out! Besides, if the end of the world comes by flaming meteors or nuclear war, how helpful will your garage really be?

2. Spend time crying: First thing, the world most likely won’t end. Second thing, provided it does, tears aren’t going to fix it. And if you start crying, I’ll start crying and we’ll have a giant runny mascara mess. No one wants that.

3. Wear that audacious outfit that you were never going to wear: Just kidding, definitely do this! In fact, wear it even if you don’t think the world is ending. {sidebar id=65}

4. Spend all your money: The likelihood of the world ending is kind of small. Besides, you can’t take it with you.

5. Try to fit in everything you haven’t done in your life into the next two days: That is just crazy.

6. Ignore your family: If anyone thinks this is ever a good idea, it’s not.

7. Spend the entire day on Facebook: Even if the world isn’t going to end in 48 hours, get outside!

8. Watch every “Walking Dead” episode ever: It is not a zompocalypse survival guide.

9. Run down the street in a Speedo: Please, no Speedos.

10. Read the entire Bible: God will love you even if you haven’t read all of Numbers.

11. Eat a ton of sweets: Don’t end the world in a sugar coma.

12. Tell people what you really think: Always keep your editor (Brittany proved that this and marriage is a bad idea on “Glee”).

13. Commit any federal offenses: Bad, bad, bad, always bad.

14. Focus on the negatives: Find a source of joy.

15. Make stupid lists: Hey wait… I’m going out! I have possibly less than 48 hours to enjoy the world!

 

What do you think?