Bryn Gallagher: 25 ways to terrify your prom date

Bryn Gallagher

With prom on the way, you might be brushing up on ways to impress the person you’re going with – that cute laugh, the hair flip, a crooked smile perhaps. Seriously, where’s the fun in all that? Clearly there is nothing more satisfying than spending an evening terrifying your prom date. If you need some ideas as to how to make this prom certainly the most memorable (or terrible) moment of you date’s life, look no further. I have 25 ways to get the job done.

1. Wear a wedding dress. Can we say frightening? A good, ball gown-like, pearl-drenched, white, or off-white dress is an almost guaranteed scare. Besides, when your wedding comes along you’ve got a dress already. It’s an excellent investment (but if you don’t want to buy a whole dress, a veil should do).

2. Carry a cat-shaped purse or just a cat. Whether breathing or not, cats can be considered a gateway to crazy cat-ladyness, exactly what everyone wants to take to prom. (For the record, this does not work if you happen to be Cee Lo Green. He can carry around Mr. Purrfect and completely get away with it).

3. Wear geisha makeup. Lets face it: this would be scary on anyone but a geisha, and might even be scary on them too.

4. Insist the Seven Dwarves or your Fairy Godmother should accompany you. Everyone loves princess stories… but not taking crazy princesses to prom.

5. Sing or dance for him (or her) in public. Unfortunately life isn’t “Glee” and such spontaneous displays of musical prowess is largely frowned upon.

6. Wear a tutu. Good for ballet class or on three-year-olds, somewhat questionable for prom.

7. Dress as a fairy. This is almost the same category as the tutu, just a little bit scarier.

8. Be a “zombie prom date.” Maybe tear your dress a bit and add some blood and guts. Even better, wear a mussed up wedding gown and go as a “zombie prom date bride.” Perfect.

9. Sit in your prom dress cleaning shotguns when your date arrives. Two words: don’t mess.

10. Have your family and prom date partake in a seance. If at all possible, pull your family into the mix. Nothing beats a crazy date with a crazy family to back them up.

11. Act as though you are going to the “Hunger Games.” Stony silences and dark premonitions of certain doom. Maybe inform your date that it is a “big, big, big day!” going to the Capitol.

12. Turn off all the lights in your house, draw the curtains, and act like no one is home. Whoops! Where did your prom date go? This is just a weird empty house.

13. Ask if he’s (or she’s) seen The Doctor. Even if they don’t know the reference to British television it would be less entertaining but still delightfully creepy enough.

14. Speak like a pirate. Argh! Yo ho me hardies! All night, pirate talk. Not only rather odd, speaking like a pirate could be considered rather annoying after a while which adds yet another level to a delightful evening.

15. Ask if you can take your Rottweiler. Probably named Fluffy (a Doberman, Pit Bull, or any other large forbidding dog could do the trick).

16. At any part in the evening start muttering “redrum…redrum…” Make sure your date has seen “The Shining.”

17. Tell your date you’ve hired a horse and carriage. Yet another slightly odd thing that would surely freak out the correct person.

18. Pretend you’re a spy. Hopping around Prom singing the “Mission Impossible” theme pretty much makes you look unstable and hopefully therefore scary.

19. Get your dad or mom to pretend to be a psycho killer. Maybe talk about some other, less fortunate dates. (Yes, I did steal this partially from ABC’s “Castle,” but it was too wonderful to leave out).

20. Add cobwebs and gargoyles to the decor. Nothing adds an edge of odd like a well-placed gargoyle grimace and some gnarly cobwebs. Any Martha Stewart Halloween Special could teach you that.

21. Constantly look behind you at prom. Act as if someone was chasing you. At first the initial response would be to see what you’re looking at, but eventually you’ll just look a little wonky.

22. Dress like Glinda the Good Witch. “And your little dog Toto too!”

23. Wear a straight jacket. That one should be completely self-explanatory.

24. Scream and inform them that they are sitting on your best friend. Unless, of course, your best friend is really invisible.

25. “My dad will drive us, but you’ll have to ride in the back of our MG.” Thanks to Mom for that one.

Now of course, I don’t expect you to use these. I’ll most likely not use them myself, but more power to you if you do! The point of this is, on prom night just get out there and have some fun. It’s just prom after all!

What do you think?