Satire: Senioritis


Caroline Hubner

Fourth quarter seniors in Advanced Placement (AP) Calculus AB intently focus on calculating how many hours of sleep they can grab after completing the class curriculum.

Caroline Hubner, Writer

As the sun rises and the melodious chirps of a trusty alarm clock welcome seniors into the morning, the will to make the 8:30 a.m. start time diminishes almost immediately. Despite the fact that classes in post-Advanced Placement (AP) test season provide riveting instruction and activities, such as analyzing the ability to sleep sitting up, testing cognitive skills in a game of go fish or getting physically fit with some classroom golf, seniors still find themselves ailed with the most notorious condition of all: senioritis. 

The fourth quarter is arguably the most exciting time of high school for seniors at Foothill Technology High School (Foothill Tech) with many once-in-a-lifetime events such as Air Guitar, Senior Awards Nights, Grad Night, Dragon Talks, Senior Barbeque and of course, Graduation. But in the moments between 8:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m., in the late weeks of May and early days of June, the hands of the clock seem to stand still and students’ motivation screeches to a halt along with it. 

While many appreciate the well-deserved mental break after an especially grueling set of standardized exams, there are only so many times one can watch “Coco.” On the other hand, the coursework for classes that do decide to assign tasks is either painfully tedious or downright exhausting, especially since the lustrous freedom of summer is just beyond our grasp. 

Seniors apply their calculus knowledge in an impromptu golf match to fill the time in post-AP test season. (Caroline Hubner)

Additionally, the fourth quarter leaves seniors in a sort of limbo period, in which the adults of our lives warn against the impending sorrow of graduation and of all the tasks we will soon have to juggle, but those days are still in the future, albeit just barely. So what are seniors to do? Do we try to pull from our depleted store of effort and persistence? Do we embrace the senioritis and just try to keep our heads above water? 

“Enjoy every moment. The weeks will fly by. Blink and it will all be over,” are only a few of the wise words of wisdom from our esteemed mentors. While that advice is undoubtedly truthful, it is hard to “soak up the moments” when the moments in question are playing online solitaire for an hour and a half while watching contraband Netflix shows and procrastinating on the mind-numbing assignment due at 11:59 p.m. 

Better yet, the concluding months of a senior’s high school career are none other than bittersweet, because for every class period spent in intense boredom, there is a feeling of guilt for not “enjoying” it enough, a sense of being overwhelmed from all the tasks still yet to be completed, some good old fashioned anxiety, along with a sprinkle of excitement and giddy anticipation to top it all off. 

That’s the senior paradox for you; the ability to be completely and utterly checked out while still being very much engrossed in campus culture, life and community. Maybe Mrs. Eulau’s lectures on the diamond-water paradox paid off after all. Or perhaps that’s from Mr.

Fitz’s showing of “Forrest Gump,” or maybe from Mr. Power’s mid-class golf lessons or maybe, just maybe, it arose from the demonstration of a dance battle between Mr. Baker and Mrs. Anderson. Possibly it is from all of those; only a senior can say for sure, that is if they manage to overcome the alluring voice of the senioritis siren beckoning them back to sleep.

What do you think?